Heart Attack, PLEASE!

The more I talk to people and read about panic attacks, the more I realize how similar everyone's situation is.  Almost everyone's first attack happens seemingly "out of the blue." Because of this, people, myself included, tend to think that there is something physically wrong and often spend lots of time and money on diagnostic tests (mainly with cardiac and respiratory specialists) before discovering the true source of the bodily discomforts.  

I know I thought it. Why else would I develop chest pain, feel dizzy, and not be able to breathe all of a sudden? I must be having a heart attack or something else is terribly wrong! I actually ended up in the ER one night (while overseas, good times), convinced I was having a heart attack before I discovered that what I was experiencing was actually a Panic Attack.  To be completely honest, I was almost wishing they would find something wrong with me just so I would have an explanation for the scary s*** I was experiencing.  

I've read countless stories similar to this, including one in The Panic Away Program, by Barry Joseph McDonagh that a friend suggested I read (THANKS!).  I'm only part way through it, but wanted to share an excerpt from the book that I related to.  I thought it did a great job of describing both the panic and how it can (quickly) affect your entire life, and that of your loved ones. I've "bolded" (sorry, Mom, I'm making that a verb, because it should be one) the parts that I related to the most.  Can anyone else relate to this?

Jane has just left work and is in the supermarket doing her weekly shopping. She’s got a lot of things on her mind and is rushing around, throwing all the items she needs into the shopping cart. While checking the price on some soft drinks, she notices something strange. She can feel her heart beginning to beat hard—so hard, in fact, that her throat is pulsating. This startles her, and as she places the soft drink down, she notices how her left arm starts to tingle with a pins-and-needles sensation. This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to her. She’s confused and starts to get really scared. “Something must be wrong,” she thinks, and she begins to mentally list all the possible things it could be: “Is this the start of a heart attack? Is it an allergic reaction to something I ate?”

Jane’s stomach and chest muscles feel really tense, and her breathing becomes faster and shallower. She glances around at the people near her, and as she does, she feels light-headed and dizzy. The confusion and fear she feels sends her into a panic. The sensations in her body intensify, and she’s convinced something awful is about to happen. She feels a need to get outside, and she leaves her shopping cart full of goods behind as she walks slowly, with trepidation, toward the exit.

Soon Jane is outside in the cool air. She feels a slight sense of relief and greater control as the physical sensations lose momentum. Although she’s calming down, she’s still in shock and her body is shaking. It feels as if someone had just held a gun to her head. She’s never felt so terrified and out of control in all her life. She calls her husband at work, tells him what happened, and asks him to meet her so they can go to the hospital together.

A few hours later, Jane is lying on the hospital bed, waiting for the results of

medical tests. The doctor arrives and tells her that they cannot find anything

physically wrong with her, that it most likely was a panic attack. This is relieving and yet confusing at the same time. “A panic attack?” she thinks. She remembers an aunt who experienced panic attacks, but Jane never really understood what that meant—and she certainly never imagined it felt as scary as what she went through. Glad that nothing is physically wrong, she checks out of the hospital with her husband and goes home. Within minutes of lying on her bed, she’s fast asleep.

On waking the following day, Jane immediately begins to go over the ordeal in her mind. It all seems like a surreal dream. By lunchtime, she’s already second guessing the medical tests. She convinces herself that something was missed and that this must involve something more serious than anxiety. Days pass, and she can’t stop thinking about what happened in the supermarket. She still feels shaken by the experience and lives in fear that it might strike her again at any moment. For the first time in her life, she doesn’t feel safe leaving her home.

At the law office where she works, she feels restless and can’t concentrate. Even when talking to colleagues, she constantly thinks about her problem. She fears she might have a similar turn at work, and everyone would think she’s cracking up. If that weren’t enough, she starts imagining scary scenarios, like getting locked up in a psychiatric hospital or losing her children because she can’t take care of them. Each time she thinks these thoughts, her stomach jolts with a fright. She knows she isn’t helping matters by thinking these things, but she can’t help herself. The anxious thoughts just keep coming, and the harder she tries to stop the thoughts, the faster they swirl around her mind.

Three weeks later, Jane still feels highly anxious. She’s undergone more medical tests with a doctor her friend recommended, but nothing showed up. Secretly she was hoping for something to be wrong so she could start treating it—that would at least be something she could focus her energy on. The new doctor has prescribed some anti-anxiety medication that she has not taken yet, but she will if she ever feels another panic attack coming on.

Jane has now entered a phase called general anxiety or generalized anxiety

disorder (GAD). This is a feeling of lingering anxiety accompanied by anxious

thoughts. It’s the type of anxiety that’s there in the morning on waking, and it

often lasts throughout the day. In Jane’s case, it’s a direct result of her obsessive worry over her condition. For her, the initial panic attack in the supermarket sparked fear and confusion, and this fear and confusion grew into general anxiety.

Jane’s life has been altered dramatically since that first panic attack. She’s already cancelled her European vacation with friends and has told her extended family she won’t be entertaining them for Christmas this year. Her husband is trying his best to understand, but he’s slowly getting impatient and just wishes she could pull herself together for the sake of the family. He’s finding it hard to believe how the confident lawyer he married is suddenly, for no apparent reason, acting like a shadow of her former self.