Toilet Paper Roll Speaker

Another great recycled-goods project borrowed from a fellow blogger. BTW, if you need step by step directions for this one, you should probably not procreate. : ) 

Garden Hose Door Mat

I love crafts. I love the Earth. So, it goes without saying that I LOVE crafts made from recycled goods! 

Here's a great idea for a leaky hose.

You’ll need:

• A leaky garden hose.
• A square dollar store door mat. I bought a square gray door mat for $1 at the local Christmas Tree Shop.
• E-6000 adhesive at a craft or hardware store. I used three tubes of the stuff for this project.
• Garden pruners (to cut the garden hose).
• A strong scissors to cut down the mat.
• Some heavy garden pots to use as weights to hold down the hose sections while the glue dries. Actually any heavy object will suffice.
• .75″ x .94″ corks (to seal the cut ends of the hose lengths).

Here’s how you do it:

1. Place the door mat on a flat surface.
2. Using the garden pruners, cut a section of the hose so that it creates the outer half circle of the mat. Don’t worry if the ends of the hose hang over the mat…you can trim them off when you’ve finished gluing all of the sections onto the mat.
3. Place a generous amount of glue on the hose then position it on the mat. Remember, you’re working with the outer half circle first.
4. Position heavy pots on this first section to keep in place and let dry overnight.
5. When the first section is dry, simply repeat with all of the remaining cut hose sections to fill in the half circle using heavy objects to hold the sections in place.
6. When finished and all of the hose sections are dry, cut the ends with the pruners so that they are all the same length.
7. Glue and insert corks into each of the ends to seal the openings.
8. Finally, with a scissors cut the door mat base to the half-circle shape you’ve created.
9. Done!

Source: https://markkintzel.wordpress.com/2012/08/08/garden-hose-door-mat/

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

In the spirit of sharing great information, I'm re-posting this from a fellow blogger. Eat healthy to be healthy!

SPICES ARE FOOD! | IMMENSELY HEALTHY FOOD AT THAT! | There is not one spice on Earth that does not hold a vastness of positive healing / tonifying properties for the many systems within the body. Culture has suggested that the only function is to enhance or change the flavor of food. On the contrary, spices are themselves food and hold the keys to many of the binding locks of dis-ease. Herbs and s

pices in higher quantities than accustomed to is where the health benefits become unlocked and the healing begins. Daily use for up to 3 weeks is recommended for the information from the herbs to be effectively conveyed to your body, blood, DNA, and cells. The fresher / purer (organic), the better.

Let's take a peek at a few:

CAYENNE PEPPER is the #1 sore throat healer (ironically - gargle and swallow 1/4 tsp w/ pure spring water), boosts circulation, alleviates pain by diminishing pain signals in the brain in addition to boosting pleasure signals

CINNAMON (ceylon / true cinnamon) holds supreme anti-microbial properties (mold, fungi, bacteria, yeast), balances blood sugar levels, significantly boosts immunity, and is a leading anti-oxidant

GARLIC is a powerful liver cleanser, boosts immunity, anti-microbial / natural anti-viral / antibiotic and skin clearer

TARRAGON has positive effects on digestive issues and minimizes anxiety, while increases relaxation

ROSEMARY is beneficial for focus / alertness, helps prevent sun burn - demonstrating its ability to protect cells in the body and skin, is an anti-carcinogen, and natural food preservative

SAGE is highly effective with minimizing night sweats, upper respiratory infections, menopausal symptoms, and gum disease

Many beneficial health herbs can actually be organically grown in your own window. There is nothing like pulling your own fresh herbs to add to each of your meals or blend in beverages. Mint, for example, is easy to grow and is abundant in yield very quickly. Fresh Sage leaves up to 3" long from even a young plant.

The herbs have powerful benefits to our bodies and the more we have them, the more we benefit from their abundance of health benefits.

(c) 2012 Earth Foods
http://facebook.com/earthfoods

Don't Bother Calling me Back!

Today's therapy session was all about "exposure therapy."  One of the triggers that I have found with my panic attacks is height --not the lack thereof  like my short-stature (although also bothersome) rather being up high in a tall building.  With that in mind, we met today at a local hotel in hopes of inducing a panic attack. I had been both dreading and looking forward to this appointment all week; dreading it because, well, for obvious reasons, having a panic attack sucks.  But, I was also eager to put some of my new techniques and strategies to use and kick some panic's butt!

Only problem was, apparently panic didn't get the memo and decided not to show up. Rude bastard.  We tried everything to convince him to come visit.  Rode up and down a glass elevator with me staring straight down.  Got off on the top floor and leaned over the railing.  "Trapped" myself in the stairwell....and, a big fat nothing!!  Sure, I felt the slightest bit of uneasiness, but nothing I couldn't handle.  Thanks a lot, panic(and no, I'm not going to capitalize your name; you don't deserve it)! After all the times you showed up when I didn't want you to and now the one time I need you, you can't even make an appearance!  What did I ever do to you except allow you in when you weren't even invited?! Am I losing my touch or something? What, not cute enough for you anymore? See if I ever call you back again!

So, I left the appointment without a chance to practice the skills but a little smuggishly happy thinking that maybe I've made enough progress that I can't even tempt panic to make an appearance anymore. I know it's not gone forever, but maybe he finally got the hint to stay away for a bit longer...at least until next week when we're stepping it up a notch....or 20 to a taller building. Here's your warning, panic; I'll even shave for you...Be there!!   

Coming Out of the Closet!

No, not like that. Let me explain. The other day, I visited my therapist at ASDI and she gave me another wonderful analogy about anxiety and panic attacks.  "See, Anxiety plays by it's own set of rules," she said, "and if we continue to play by it's rules, anxiety will ALWAYS win. It's like if I ask you to play basketball with me.  But my rules state that every time you get the ball, you have to pass it to me and stand still until I make a basket.  I'm always going to win.

What happens with anxiety is that we are always acting defensively--we feel our heart beating fast, our chest tighten, etc. and then we react with panic--fight or flight, searching for danger.  Instead, we must play by our OWN rules and be OFFENSIVE in our thinking. Instead of avoiding situations that cause anxiety, we must actively seek out anxiety and then apply the strategies learned to handle the sensations. Basically tell anxiety to "bring it" and then taunt it's sissy-ass to give you even more because you're not going anyway and you can handle it!

As with anything, it takes practice and repetition to master the skills.  And, since anxiety and panic attacks are fostered in the "old brain" (the part that handles the subconscious/habits), it is critical to repeatedly apply the new strategies to anxiety symptoms so that it will eventually become habitual and much easier to apply in true panic situations.

I asked her how often she was talking, thinking her response would be about 5-10 minutes a day, 4-5 times a day. Nope! It was more like 45-90 minutes a day, every day! Now, that being said, she's aware that it's probably not realistic to start out with that but to do what you can at first.  Two key things to keep in mind when practicing:
                  * Do NOT stop or flee at the height of anxiety (this will only reinforce the "fight or flight"
                      response and maintain a defeatist stance against anxiety)
                  *Your anxiety level should be between a 5 and 8 on a scale of 1-10 for practice sessions (you  
                     don't have to reach a full blown panic attack)

As I sat in her office, we tried to "bring on" sensations of a panic attack.  I was running in place and jumping around to increase my heart rate and breathing and spinning in a chair to bring about dizziness.  The problem was, since I knew that the bodily sensations were congruent with the situation, they didn't scare me.

So, I was sent home with homework to practice some skills each day.  Since the symptom I most experience (and hate) during a panic attack is the  sensation that I can't breathe, we decided I should practice inducing that. One idea she had was to practice breathing through a straw.  Another thing I don't like is feeling claustrophobic, which brings us back to the closet.  "Go into your closet and practice staying there, even when you want to run out screaming," she devilishly suggested.

So, determined to attack that anxiety, I did just that.  I came home to an empty house and decided it was the perfect time to practice.  That way, I wouldn't feel silly if I flipped out since no one would see it.  I bravely stepped into my closet and waited.  I didn't have to wait long to feel my heart beating fast, my throat and chest tightening, and a general feeling of "get me the hell out of here!"  I also started to feel hot, dizzy, and like I was going to faint.  Suddenly, I was regretting my choice to do this with no witnesses around.  How would they ever find me if I passed out? Why would they think to look in the closet? What if when I tried to get out the door was stuck and I couldn't?

As quickly as these thoughts entered my head, I quickly "distanced myself" from them, as I had been taught.  I said things like, "Okay Dani, I feel that your heart is beating fast and you feel like you can't breathe.  Well, this is not a great feeling for sure, but it's not dangerous. And, don't forget that if you do faint, you're in a closet so all those soft clothes and pretty shoes will break your fall." I also kept eye on my watch and told myself I had to do it for at least 30 seconds.  I lasted about 5 minutes! To be fair, I could have lasted longer, but I was hot, bored, and hungry....much better sensations that those brought by a panic attack so I took those as a success! Now I can say, I survived being in the closet and I came out stronger for doing so! :)

I WAS HERE!!!

Need some inspiration????  In honor of World Humanitarian Day a few days ago, and in honor of all things inspiring and wonderful, I want to share this video clip of Beyonce singing "I Was Here" at the United Nations.  I find it completely encouraging and think it's a good one to keep in my memory files for when I need a bit of motivation.

World Humanitarian Day, August 19, 2012

One Day, One Message, One Goal.

To Inspire People All Over the World

To Do Something Good, No Matter

How Big or Small, For Someone Else.

What will YOU Do??!!

Click Here to Watch this Amazing Video

Free Group Meeting!

We did it! We organized a date and time to meet for our first free support group.  ALL are welcome to join---come in person or "Skype" in (just send me a message to coordinate).

Thursday, August 23rd, 6:00 pm at the Barnes and Noble on Montgomery Road. 

See you all then!!!!

: ) 

Running towards Recovery

One of the things that has perplexed me about Panic Attack treatment is that approaches often seems contradictory.  Here are some examples of different approaches out there:

*Distract your mind from your thoughts

*Concentrate on your thoughts

*Focus on your breathing

*Distract yourself from the bodily sensations  

*Try not to think about the panic 

* Let the panic happen

Understandably so, I've been feeling a bit confused and overwhelmed in trying to decipher this whole process.  One of the most perplexing concepts of all to me is the one that says to basically allow the panic to happen. What the F***? I mean, seriously? I HATE panic attacks. Why would I invite them to "just happen?"

 Lucky for me, my therapist at ASDI is fabulous and was able to shed some light on this today.

Her words:

"It sounds contradictory for us to tell you to just allow the panic attack to happen when you are here to stop yourself from having panic attacks," (yeah, no sh** Sherlock--my words. sorry, i really do love her!) "But no one can control their body's reactions to things.  Think of it this way; when you finish running a race, you will be out of breath and your heart will be beating fast.  If someone said to you, 'Stop breathing fast!' You would not be physically able to do it.  In fact, the harder you tried to do so, the more difficult it would become.  You would have to wait a few minutes for your body to gradually calm itself and return to resting rate."

"A Panic Attack is similar in that you cannot just will your body to calm down.  The more you try to do so, the more worked up you will become.  Instead, just accept that it is happening and will take a few minutes to pass. But, it will pass... just like after a race."    

Sounds simple enough now...we'll see how well it works in the midst of an attack. For now, I'm happy to grab my running shoes and test that theory...oh, and also to have an analogy I can relate to and understand!

Heart Attack, PLEASE!

The more I talk to people and read about panic attacks, the more I realize how similar everyone's situation is.  Almost everyone's first attack happens seemingly "out of the blue." Because of this, people, myself included, tend to think that there is something physically wrong and often spend lots of time and money on diagnostic tests (mainly with cardiac and respiratory specialists) before discovering the true source of the bodily discomforts.  

I know I thought it. Why else would I develop chest pain, feel dizzy, and not be able to breathe all of a sudden? I must be having a heart attack or something else is terribly wrong! I actually ended up in the ER one night (while overseas, good times), convinced I was having a heart attack before I discovered that what I was experiencing was actually a Panic Attack.  To be completely honest, I was almost wishing they would find something wrong with me just so I would have an explanation for the scary s*** I was experiencing.  

I've read countless stories similar to this, including one in The Panic Away Program, by Barry Joseph McDonagh that a friend suggested I read (THANKS!).  I'm only part way through it, but wanted to share an excerpt from the book that I related to.  I thought it did a great job of describing both the panic and how it can (quickly) affect your entire life, and that of your loved ones. I've "bolded" (sorry, Mom, I'm making that a verb, because it should be one) the parts that I related to the most.  Can anyone else relate to this?

Jane has just left work and is in the supermarket doing her weekly shopping. She’s got a lot of things on her mind and is rushing around, throwing all the items she needs into the shopping cart. While checking the price on some soft drinks, she notices something strange. She can feel her heart beginning to beat hard—so hard, in fact, that her throat is pulsating. This startles her, and as she places the soft drink down, she notices how her left arm starts to tingle with a pins-and-needles sensation. This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to her. She’s confused and starts to get really scared. “Something must be wrong,” she thinks, and she begins to mentally list all the possible things it could be: “Is this the start of a heart attack? Is it an allergic reaction to something I ate?”

Jane’s stomach and chest muscles feel really tense, and her breathing becomes faster and shallower. She glances around at the people near her, and as she does, she feels light-headed and dizzy. The confusion and fear she feels sends her into a panic. The sensations in her body intensify, and she’s convinced something awful is about to happen. She feels a need to get outside, and she leaves her shopping cart full of goods behind as she walks slowly, with trepidation, toward the exit.

Soon Jane is outside in the cool air. She feels a slight sense of relief and greater control as the physical sensations lose momentum. Although she’s calming down, she’s still in shock and her body is shaking. It feels as if someone had just held a gun to her head. She’s never felt so terrified and out of control in all her life. She calls her husband at work, tells him what happened, and asks him to meet her so they can go to the hospital together.

A few hours later, Jane is lying on the hospital bed, waiting for the results of

medical tests. The doctor arrives and tells her that they cannot find anything

physically wrong with her, that it most likely was a panic attack. This is relieving and yet confusing at the same time. “A panic attack?” she thinks. She remembers an aunt who experienced panic attacks, but Jane never really understood what that meant—and she certainly never imagined it felt as scary as what she went through. Glad that nothing is physically wrong, she checks out of the hospital with her husband and goes home. Within minutes of lying on her bed, she’s fast asleep.

On waking the following day, Jane immediately begins to go over the ordeal in her mind. It all seems like a surreal dream. By lunchtime, she’s already second guessing the medical tests. She convinces herself that something was missed and that this must involve something more serious than anxiety. Days pass, and she can’t stop thinking about what happened in the supermarket. She still feels shaken by the experience and lives in fear that it might strike her again at any moment. For the first time in her life, she doesn’t feel safe leaving her home.

At the law office where she works, she feels restless and can’t concentrate. Even when talking to colleagues, she constantly thinks about her problem. She fears she might have a similar turn at work, and everyone would think she’s cracking up. If that weren’t enough, she starts imagining scary scenarios, like getting locked up in a psychiatric hospital or losing her children because she can’t take care of them. Each time she thinks these thoughts, her stomach jolts with a fright. She knows she isn’t helping matters by thinking these things, but she can’t help herself. The anxious thoughts just keep coming, and the harder she tries to stop the thoughts, the faster they swirl around her mind.

Three weeks later, Jane still feels highly anxious. She’s undergone more medical tests with a doctor her friend recommended, but nothing showed up. Secretly she was hoping for something to be wrong so she could start treating it—that would at least be something she could focus her energy on. The new doctor has prescribed some anti-anxiety medication that she has not taken yet, but she will if she ever feels another panic attack coming on.

Jane has now entered a phase called general anxiety or generalized anxiety

disorder (GAD). This is a feeling of lingering anxiety accompanied by anxious

thoughts. It’s the type of anxiety that’s there in the morning on waking, and it

often lasts throughout the day. In Jane’s case, it’s a direct result of her obsessive worry over her condition. For her, the initial panic attack in the supermarket sparked fear and confusion, and this fear and confusion grew into general anxiety.

Jane’s life has been altered dramatically since that first panic attack. She’s already cancelled her European vacation with friends and has told her extended family she won’t be entertaining them for Christmas this year. Her husband is trying his best to understand, but he’s slowly getting impatient and just wishes she could pull herself together for the sake of the family. He’s finding it hard to believe how the confident lawyer he married is suddenly, for no apparent reason, acting like a shadow of her former self.

Sharing is Caring-FREE support, what?!?!?!

I'm feeling SO blessed touched, and overwhelmed (in a good way) from all the emails that I've received from people sharing stories of their own battles with anxiety.   At the same time, I can't help but find it a little bittersweet that so many of us are dealing with this and yet no one talks about it.  I never even knew much about the disorder until now and yet I'm finding that almost everyone I know has either dealt with it themselves or knows someone who has.

I know it's not an easy thing to talk about. There's shame, guilt, and anger associated with the disorder--not to mention the lovely "Holy S***, am I going crazy?" fear that accompanies the attacks.  These aren't exactly qualities people like to go bragging about.

I also understand that some people are just more private and I respect that.  Yet, at the same time, I know how isolating and scary the darn thing is and knowing that other people are experiencing the same things and being able to talk about it together can be incredibly therapeutic.  I'm hoping to help change some of that stigma and encourage us all to be more open and help each other.  Hence the blog! : )

Some of you have written me and expressed interest in setting up our own support group and I promised I'd get the ball rolling.  So, here it is.  Ball. Rolling.  Let's face it, therapy and support groups can be intimidating, and expensive as hell.  So, why not join forces and beat the system by creating our own, FREE, group?! I'm up for trying it out if anyone else is. I'd even be happy to coordinate it; just let me know if you're in the MD area and would be interested.  We can make it as formal/informal as we like.  If you can't make the group, you can still post here and have an online support community. My disclaimer upfront though is this: there MUST be food! I'm not going to a meeting if there's not food! : ) So, who's in????!!!!

Oil Pulling

Has anyone ever heard of oil pulling for your teeth/mouth? This is the first I'm hearing about it but I have to admit I'm a little intrigued and may have to try it out sometime! If you have or plan to try it, let me know what you think.

http://simplehomemade.net/my-attempt-at-this-crazy-thing-called-oil-pulling-does-it-really-make-a-difference/

Shameful Success!

As we all know, trying to find affordable mental health care is a challenge.  Try doing that without health insurance and it's damn near impossible. Luckily, I remembered to bring back my golden horse shoe with me from Asia so that when I came across the fabulous  Anxiety and Stress Disorders Institute (ASDI), I discovered that they had a program that would allow me to meet with an internist on a sliding fee scale---yay! 

I've been looking forward to my appointment since the day I scheduled it and they sent me some forms to print and bring with me.  I woke up today with plans to print the forms at the library, calmly complete them, and then leisurely drive down the road 5 minutes to the office.  My appointment was at 10:30 so I made it to the library at 9:30 which gave me plenty of time to fulfill this plan. Unfortunately, the universe had other plans for me.

Turns out the darn library doesn't open until 10 am.  I still thought I had everything in control at that point.  Decided to get gas and pick up a few things at CVS until 10 am at which point I would quickly print the forms, make it to the office with 15 minutes to spare and time to complete them.  I even had my GPS all preset to go so that I could head over straight away.  Unfortunately, as I was printing the forms, I happened to glance at the address at the top and saw TOWSON...CRAP! Turns out the campus was a different one that I thought and Towson is about a 30 minute drive, without traffic.   By this point it was already 10:10 so there was no way I could make it in time.  

Naively, I still thought I could somehow reverse time en route and make it there in time.  I don't have a cell phone (no, I don't live under a rock, just lived in Asia for the past 10 months and haven't gotten around to getting a US one yet) so I couldn't call to say I would arrive late, and I hate being late. It makes me very anxious...kind of ironic since I was on my way to learn how to treat anxiety.  Good times.

So, long story longer, my GPS got me to just about where I needed to be and then proclaimed the dreaded "You have reached your destination" as I sat on a roundabout on a dead-end residential street.  Perfect.  At this point, I was really wishing I had actually read the directions they sent me in the email. Whoops!

By the time I found my way into the appointment, I was 15 minutes late and quite worked up about it.  I ran into the office, apologizing profusely, spattering off at a mile a minute the story of what happened while the Dr. and intern stared at me like I was crazy.  Not a good feeling ever, but especially coming from people who make a living recognizing and treating crazy.

Of course, the first thing they asked was for the forms...which I had not completed.  This was not the kind of impression I wanted to give on a first meeting! Fortunately for me, the Dr.'s dog, Lucky (how appropriate!) was there and decided he liked me which I think convinced them to forgive me and give me a shot.

I've just realized that this entry is really long and hasn't even reached the point yet...so I'll get to it.  Point is: I LOVED their approach and feel really positive about working with them! I knew we would work well together when they said, "We do things differently and we won't teach you to relax." THANK YOU! Telling someone with panic attacks to "just relax" is like asking...(insert good analogy that I can't think of).  Basically, it's really stupid and quite aggravating to the person experiencing the panic.

Anywho, so we were finally heading down a good path and then they asked me to help them complete the "Panic Attack Cycle" with them on the white board.  Seemed simple enough to me too, until I started.  They asked me to think about what happens when I start to have a panic attack.  The problem was, I REALLY did that.  I really started thinking about what it's like, which in turn made me start to have a panic attack! UGH! That's what makes this disorder such a jackass because you know intellectually it makes no sense but the damn bugger just sneaks up on you anyway.

I ended up feeling ridiculous and embarrassed that that happened to me but turns out it was a positive thing because we were able to apply approaches to a real-life situation right away! So, it was a shameful success, but a success nonetheless and a great start to a new journey! 

Organic quinoa and veggies

Props goes out to my big sis for this simple, quick, healthy, use-what-you-have recipe! Thanks, Jen!

Ingredients:
- quinoa
- oil
- balsamic vinegar
- veggies
- canned beans
- nuts (optional)
- cheese (optional)

1. Make quinoa according to box directions.

2. In a separate pan, sauté veggies and beans in oil (I prefer coconut or olive but whatever you have is fine). Add some balsamic vinegar and salt to taste.

3. While you wait on the veggies **and quinoa, toast your favorite nuts (the G rated/food kind) I have used walnuts, almonds, and pecans in the past.
** use whatever veggies you have, be creative! In this photo I used garlic, onion, green onion, red pepper, brussel sprouts (really), squash, tomatoes, and carrots.

4. Combine all ingredients in a large bowl and sprinkle on cheese (a strong one for flavor like feta or blue). Avocado might be good to add at the end too!

5. Pour a glass of vino and enjoy!

All About Dani

Hi and welcome to my blog!

You may be wondering why I chose to be "attackgirl"--No I don't bite, pinch, or attack; rather, I'm just an average girl who recently started suffering from Panic Attacks.  In an effort to assist in my own recovery I thought I'd establish a site to share ideas, resources, and support with others.  My hope is that this blog can serve as a place for others to share their stories, gather information, and gain support.

Of course, I don't just utilize super-powers against anxiety so I'll post other things I like too and hope you enjoy those as well.  Just a snippet about me: I like to run, play soccer, be outdoors, travel (I've been to 34 countries and driven across the US 4 times!), learn other cultures and languages, teach kids, eat, animals (not to eat--I'm a veggie head), be with friends, be frugal/hippy/cheap, and laugh! Here are some photos from recent travels:

Korea: I just ate silk worms. They taste about as good as they sound.

Thailand: Releasing a paper lantern into the night sky.

Mahout Elephant Training for a day

Obligatory disclaimer: I am in no way a medical professional nor associated with any organizations or products that I may post about.  I simply post what I come across in my own research so it's up to you to decide if it's appropriate for you.  I encourage you to "like," re-post, share, and comment as much as you like.  I'm hoping this will be an "interactive blog" in that manner.  Just keep in mind that this is meant to be a "Happy Place" : ) so please only post helpful and supportive messages.

THANKS, enjoys, and let's attack that panic's butt together!
: ) Dani

Letter to a Friend

Want to understand what you, a friend, or a family member is going through with Panic Attacks? I came across this incredibly powerful letter in the book Triumph Over Fear: A Book of Help and Hope for People with Anxiety, Panic Attacks, and Phobias, by Jerilyn Ross.  I encourage you to read it whether or not you know someone suffering with the disorder now because you just may in the future.  All rights go to Dr. Jeriyln Ross for this powerful letter.  Feel free to read her wonderful book!

Dear Friend: 

       There is something about me that I would like to tell you about.  I suffer from anxiety disorder, and I am currently learning techniques that are helping me overcome it.

       Phobic or panic disorders are NOT associated with "insanity" nor are they the result of laziness, selfishness, or emotional weakness.  They come from having repeated panic attacks: involuntary, frightening reactions that my either come "out of the blue" or be provoked by specific situations.  These panic attacks cannot be reasoned away and often lead to avoidance of specific places or situations.

       Imagine the terror you would feel if you were stuck standing in the middle of a 6-lane highway with cars coming at you at 100 MPH.  Think of the physiological sensations you would experience: increased heart rate, muscles tremble, chest tightens and pounds.  You'd be weak at the knees and break out in a cold sweat.  During that split-second in which you thought you were going to be hit by a car, you would feel dizzy and disoriented--and you would certainly have an overwhelming desire to ESCAPE.  All these physical sensations would come at once. 

       Now, imagine how you would feel if that same intensity of fear came upon you for absolutely no reason while you were standing in line to pay for groceries, riding an elevator, or just walking out of your house.  Then imagine if the fear reoccurred each time you even THOUGHT about that situation.  Imagine your EMBARRASSMENT and HUMILIATION if no one else felt as you do in these situations and people told you, "Don't be silly, there is nothing wrong!"  That's a scary and LONELY feeling, isn't it?

       If you are fortunate enough never to have had a panic attack, I cannot expect you to really understand the fear and shame I suffer as a result of it.  But I do ask you to believe that what I feel is very REAL and FRIGHTENING to me.

       I know this seems irrational and unrealistic.  Intellectually, it seems this way to me too and that makes it even more difficult.  In the past I have tried to hide my fear from other people because I was afraid of being ridiculed and misunderstood.  But I no longer feel I have to hide behind a mask.  It is a tremendous relief for me to be able to share this with you.

       You can help me by simply "being with me" when I am feeling panicky.  Knowing that I am with someone who will not laugh at me or force me into a situation that I feel I cannot handle is a great source of comfort to me.  Once that pressure is removed, I am often more able to confront the anxiety-provoking situation step by step.

       Knowing that I CAN LEAVE a situation at any time also helps alleviate my anxiety and makes confronting my fears easier, so please allow me that OPTION.  And respect my efforts to face my fears, however small these efforts may seem.

       I know that I have to face my fears to get over them, and I am being taught how to do this in a systematic way.  At times, the ways in which I approach things may seem strange to you, but I am learning to use specific techniques that have helped others to cope with their panic attacks and lead normal lives.

       I am excited about the positive changes that are taking place in my life and am greatly relieved to be actively working on my problem.  I am most appreciative to you for your support and understanding.