Travel Anniversary

Today marks a year to the day that I started my travels around Asia and the Pacific.  As I reflect back on all the things I've seen and done and the people I've met, I can't help but be happy and so incredibly grateful for all the wonderful opportunities I've had in life.  It would be impossible to recount them all here.  Instead, I thought I'd touch on what it's like to be back "home" from travels.  "Home" is in quotes because I'm not sure a gypsy soul like mine ever has one geographic location that they consider home.  It's more a state of mind and feeling in your heart of being happy wherever you go.  Okay, enough hippy talk.

Ask anyone who has ever traveled abroad from their homeland, and they will tell you how they were not only impacted by things overseas, but continue to see things differently when back to their native land as well.  As a cultural studies nerd, I am constantly analyzing cultural aspects and here are some of the things I've reflected upon since returning to the U.S.

1. It's nice to be in a place where I know the accumulated cultural knowledge and nuances not explained anywhere in guide books, that can only come from living in the culture. I like knowing that when I go somewhere I know whether they will have a bathroom, water, parking, how much stuff should cost, etc.

 EXAMPLES: I was driving down the road the other day and I saw kids sitting at a table on a street corner.  I knew that was a lemonade stand, and with that, I knew what to expect: Kids selling lemonade for a few cents.   The next day, I saw a house with tons of furniture, clothes, and stuff in the yard: I knew it was a garage sale and I knew what that entailed--I knew I shouldn't pay more than a few dollars for anything and that it was okay to bargain in that setting, that I would need to have cash only, that there would not be anything else "in the back."

2. I like being able to get in my car and go anywhere and leave anywhere at any time I want. I can plan my day and be reliant on my own time frame.

3. I like being back in a place where I have "cultural capital"(refers to non-financial social assets that promote social mobility beyond economic means. Examples can include education, intellect, style of speech, dress, and even physical appearance, et cetera.) I like having a network of family and friends to share things with. If I need to borrow something, I can call on them, etc. 

4. I like knowing WHEN there's a public holiday and WHAT that means: i.e. banks, stores, etc. will be closed or have sales, or close early, etc.

5. I LOVE being around family and friends!

If you wanna read more about my travels, check out my travel blog at:
http://www.offexploring.com/danikehm12

How Salsa Saved My Life

Okay, so, it didn't really save my life, but it made for a better title.  I do love Salsa though! The dance, not the food.  Actually, I love the food too, but this post is about dancing, or rather what it represents to me at the moment.

While visiting my sister and her family in Colorado, I went out Salsa dancing with one of her friends and as I was making my way to meet her (or trying to...there's a story there), I realized how far I had come in my road to recovery with Panic Attacks.  That one simple night of fun represented a HUGE success for me and I'll tell you how.

First off, I had to drive at night about 45 minutes to meet her at the club.  I am not particularly a fan of driving at night because I tend to get halos on lights and it distracts me when driving.  I tend to avoid it like the plague.  I also don't like driving alone at night, downtown in cities, through construction zones, over bridges, or to places where I have no idea where I'm going.  I also don't like large crowds of people in tight spaces.  I've never like any of these things, but especially since  dealing with anxiety.  But, this night, I decided the pay off would be worth dealing with 45 minutes of discomfort.

 As I set off on the drive, I realized about 5 minutes into it that I had not brought my medication with me.  I have only had to use it once but I like to have it on me "just in case."  The fact that I realized I didn't have it and decided not to go back for it was a giant step forward for me!

Unfortunately for me, the 45 minute drive turned into more like 2.5 hours since I got TOTALLY lost! It was also at this point that I realized I had no GPS and not really anyone to call if something happened since my sister and family had to go out of town (out of state, actually) for a funeral. I called the friend I was meeting and she tried looking up a map on her smartphone but it was to no avail since I was so far lost she couldn't even find where I was on the map.  That was not comforting.

You know what else is not comforting and other things I don't like? That awkward moment when you finally find a gas station to ask directions in and then realizing it's 10 O'Clock at night and you are dressed like a hooker.  I didn't realize it until that moment since it was completely appropriate attire for a Salsa club.  When I dressed, I planned on only being in my car and the club that night, not entering a dark, seedy gas station at night.  Oh well, you live and you learn.

Me, dressed appropriately for Salsa dancing, not for perusing abandoned gas stations at night. 

In the end, I made it to the club, danced my little heart out, and had a FANTABULOUS night of dancing and salsa success!!!!!

High Horse Time

I just finished reading the book "Broken" by William Cope Moyers.  It's an auto-biography about his story of alcohol and drug addiction and I highly recommend it.  As I do with most books, I dog-earred pages of the parts that spoke to me.  By the end of this book, I think there were more pages folded than not.

In one of the final chapters of the book, he makes the comparison between his battle with cancer (yeah, he had that too) and his struggle with addiction.  He talks about the stark contrast in support and resources that he felt while dealing with each, mainly due to the negative stigma attached to addiction, and how this hindered successful treatment.  As I read, I couldn't help but make comparisons to the stigma/roadblocks he faced with addiction and the prejudices against mental illness that exist.  Thought I'd quote some passages and share them.  As you read, feel free to substitute references about addiction to ones about mental illness and see if you see the similarities too.

"I've had a lot of experience with two deadly diseases in my relatively young life, and I've spent some time thinking about the differences between them.  Both diseases are chronic, progressive, and life-threatening.  Nobody deserves to get either one.  Continuing care is an essential part of treatment, and reoccurrence of the disease is always a possibility.  Yet public attitudes toward the victims of these diseases are as different as night and day.  That's the gap we must understand and attempt to bridge; until we do, millions of addicted people will suffer needlessly.

When my doctor told me I had cancer, he didn't raise his eyebrows or wag his finger at me.  I felt no shame or humiliation.  When I told my family and friends that I had cancer, no one ever suggested that I gave myself the illness or that it was in any way my fault, though I suppose people could have pointed a finger of blame at my parents for allowing their blue-eyed, blond-haired, fair-skined child to swim every summer without sunscreen...Nobody was to blame--I just happened to get it, and when I did, everyone stepped in to help.  

During the diagnosis, treatment, and recovery states of my cancer, I was overwhelmed by offers of sympathy and support from family, friends, and even strangers.  'Get Well' cards and 'How ya doing?' phone calls affirmed that I was surrounded by people who cared about me and were pulling for me to get well.  When I needed emotional support, I didn't hesitate to ask for it, and friends and strangers immediately responded.  People told me they admired my strong spirit, and some even called me 'courageous.' Having cancer never eroded my self-respoect, compromised my morals, or challenged my belief in god.  I felt more loved and accepted during that difficult period than I have ever felt in my life.

With cancer, I never doubted that the medical advice and continuing care I received were the best possible treatments available....Every time I pulled out my insurance card and presented it to a doctor, I felt absolutely confident that I had the financial safety net I needed for my care.  It never crossed my mind that the billing person might hand the card back to me and say, 'I'm sorry, Mr. Moyers, your card is no good here.  We'll need 50 thousand dollars up front before we can treat you.'

Even when I called my insurance company with a question, the faceless and nameless customer service representative on the other end spoke to me with dignity and respect.  Because my insurance covered most of what I needed, I never had to beg, borrow, or steal to get the care I needed and deserved...I got the care I needed to give me the best possible chance to live.  Without that treatment and continuing care, I would not have made it...

It was a completely different story with my addiction.  From the beginning, we all thought the disease was partly if not wholly my fault.  I'll never forget the time a family friend, a doctor...confronted me... 'How could you have done this to Mary? What's wrong with you? How could you be so weak, so thoughtless, so self-centered?  Why couldn't you just exert some willpower and strength of character and stop this self-destructive behavior?....When I checked in to the hospital I didn't use my last name and didn't notify my insurance company for fear that I'd be forever tagged with the label of exactly what I was.  My parents told only a few close friends and everyone else was left to wonder why I suddenly disappeared...Even the handful of people who knew the truth weren't sure how to reach out in response.  I got one or two 'Get Well' cards and a few visitors, but that wast it.  In truth, I didn't want to see anybody because I was so tortured by shame and guilt.

Why do we continue to whisper about addiction like earlier generations did about the "long illness" that too many people died from?
         Because people who are addicted are too sick to know it and those of us who have recovered are too ashamed to admit we ever had it.

Why do so many people with addiction receive censure and punishment, which do nothing to solve the problem, rather than understanding and treatment, which do?
          Because the myths and misconceptions about addiction tell us that addicts and alcoholics are somehow "bad" (lazy, self-centered, immoral, weak-willed)...

Why is it that people with cancer, diabetes, or hypertension are considered "victims" when their own behavior or lifestyle sometimes contributes to their illness--but we never attach the same sympathetic label to people with my disease?

Because people like me don't stand up and speak out as often as we should, providing our faces and voices that treatment does work and treatment is possible.  Too many of us just want to be 'normal' again.  We don't want to talk about our past with people who may think less of us or somehow make our lives more difficult. "   --William Cope Moyers

Now, I'm not here to get into an argument about the crap state of our healthcare system or the shit care of addiction and treatment (you don't want to get me started on this because I'm passionate and I always win : ) but, I do think that there are lots of similarities between his description of suffering with addiction and those faced by people with mental illness: the shame and humiliation, the stigma of not wanting others to know, to judge you, fear of work finding out, not telling people and wanting to just be 'normal' again, judgement that you are somehow weak-willed, the chronic nature, and lack of support from others (mainly from ignorance and awkwardness).  And I agree with him that people need to speak up and come together for support to help change the stigma associated with mental illness.  Anyways, I'll come down from my high-horse here and move onto another soap box now.

Who Cut the Cheese?!

As a not-so-great cook, little things really impress me in the kitchen. Any thing that I come across that makes cooking easier I love. Most things are quite obvious to normal people but when it comes to me and cooking, there's nothing normal.

During my travels in Asia one night, I discovered a little secret for shredding cheese. I was cooking with Peter (from Hungary) and we needed shredded cheese. We had a block of cheese, but no shredder (which i hate anyway because they are impossible to clean and easy to cut your fingers on). He quickly pulled out a potato peeler and peeled away at the cheese---genious! Not only did it make deli-thin perfect slices, but it was easy to clean, and fun!!

I love learning new uses for things. Traveling and interacting with other cultures always brings a new perspective to the table. Maybe the peeler thing was old news to you, but it was new to me and I love it!

Easy Peasy!

Flight # 2 today without meds or a panic attack!!!!! Flew from Denver to San Diego today, no problems (unless you count dealing with the group of 30 middle schoolers on the flight). I even offered to give up my seat for a later flight that would have added a few hours and a layover...but would have granted me a free flight and $200.  But, stupid people didn't show up so no dice. Think I'm almost ready for another round-the-world trip!!!

: ) 

Killer Food

Wonder why there are SO many CHRONIC diseases amongst Americans? 

Cancer 

Autism 

Chronic Fatigue

Food Allergies

Celiacs 

Digestive Disorders

Thyroid Disease

Diabetes

Alzheimers

Kidney Disease

Autoimmune Disease

Heart Attacks

Asthma

Parkinsons

Premature Aging

Infertility and Reproduction Problems

Birth Defects...ALL result from GMOS! 

Even if you read nothing, it's common sense that eating chemicals is bad!!

Watch this video. 

Make it STOP!

http://geneticroulettemovie.com

What Can You Do to Help?

WORST GMO Foods   ****READ*****

Where to Start

CLEANSE your intestines!

Great Movie to Learn More--King Corn

Super Girl!

I really like when negative things can be spun into a positive. And as much as anxiety can have negative impacts, I'm learning to look at it differently and see the good in it. It makes me a stronger person, more empathetic, and more flexible. But, by far, the best spin of all came from my therapist.

We were talking about my past and interactions with people one day and she pointed something out to me that I hadn't thought of before. "You know, Dani," she said, "you are so extremely good at reading people's emotions and energies that you take it all on yourself without even realizing it. This is a wonderful quality to have. The challenge for you is that you are so super at it that your mind is constantly scanning people and situations to the point where you can't turn it off and it causes anxiety."

So, I'm gonna choose to embrace this super-scanner gift that I have and spin it to view it as a positive. Now that I think about it, maybe it's not such a spin after all.....

I know EVERYTHING!

This post has nothing to do with anxiety and everything to do with kiddo cuteness.

Actually, it's MS., but you get the idea.

I was playing with my niece and nephew the other day when my niece asked me to say something in Spanish. The conversation went something like this:

Tate: Tia, how do you say 'chair' in Spanish?
Me: Silla
Tate: How do you say 'dog'?
Me: Perro
Tate: How about apple?
Me: Manzana
Tate: And shoe?
Me: Zapato

Now, at this point, Tate turns to me, wide-eyed and exclaims,

"Wow! You know EVERYTHING Spanish, don't you?!"

I do, little one, I do.  I love how she jumped to this conclusion from 4 examples of the randomist things, and for all she knew, I could have been lying.   I just love the way little minds work! Now, if only convincing the rest of the world (like future employers) how smart I am was so simple....

Just PLANE Happy!

I did it! I made it on the flight to Denver without a major panic attack, and without the help of medicine! This was no small accomplishment and I am not ashamed to admit that I am quite proud of myself!

The morning of  the flight, I was feeling pretty good about things, but as I was in the car ride to the airport, I could feel my anxiety rising.  I strongly considered taking medicine right then so as to avoid all the turmoil.  My family and friends advised me to do so; after all, why did I want to torture myself when I had medication to help? As much as I knew this was true, I knew that my desire to accomplish a flight without medication, or at least try, meant more to me in my road to recovery.

The night before, I didn't sleep much.  Not so much worried about the flight, rather concerned that I wouldn't wake up in time.  This tends to happen to me before major (early morning) events and I truly believe it's my body's way of protecting me from the anxiety.  I know everyone is different, and some people get increased anxiety when tired.  But, for me, I tend to have the opposite reaction.  I tend to become more calm and zen-like, as if my body has no "fight" left for the "fight or flight" battle of panic and I can handle situations more relaxed.  (Of course, this doesn't always happen, but sometimes, yes).

Lucky for me, the flight fell into this "sometimes" category.  By the time I arrived at the airport, I kept my focus on everything around me so that I wouldn't get caught up in my thoughts.  Every step brought me one step closer to my goal.  Yet, panic wasn't going out without a fight so those same accomplishments were met each time by another thought of terror.  "If I make it through security okay, I"ll be fine." CHECK.  "But wait, security wasn't really the hard part, now you still have to walk down the tarmac and actually get ON the plane."  CHECK. "Well, you made it to the plane now, but remember, if you don't take the medicine now, you will be screwed mid-air." CHECK. "Sure, you're seated calmly now, but what about when the captain announces to secure the cabin and you know there's no turning back now. You can no longer run off the plane." CHECK.

I kept anticipating that each of these steps would be the trigger to cause a panic attack.  And yet I kept beating them down to be okay!  My resilience was really tested throughout the flight.  Starting with the takeoff.  I thought for sure that takeoff would be the main trigger since it REALLY meant, I wouldn't get off the plane.  I kept wishing for it to just be over with already....and it just wouldn't come.  We were stuck on the runway for a good 35 minutes before take off.  While my mind immediately wanted to freak out over this set back, I managed to turn it into a positive and be grateful for the opportunity to really test my new coping skills and challenge myself.  Thank goodness I passed that challenge!

The things that really got me through it were:
1. Distancing myself from the thoughts as soon as they entered my head: "Okay, your heart is beating
    fast right now, but that's okay."
2. Reminding myself that I had to "get back on the saddle" and there was no better time than the present because I need to be able to fly in my life
3. Knowing that I had medicine and a flight plan to refer to if needed.
4.  Picturing these 2 goobers faces for my prize on the other end.  I mean, really, who could resist that as incentive?!

The rest of the flight was a breeze.  I happened to spot a former soccer-teammate on the flight which I took as a good sign and was able to watch movies and distract myself for the almost 4 hour flight.  Plus, I decided to sit in the aisle instead of my usual window seat.  I know it sounds odd that I've always chosen window seats since I'm claustrophobic, but for some reason, being able to look outside and avoid seeing the rest of the plane always helped me (plus, I like to lean my head on the window to sleep).  I debated over this in my head since I was flying Southwest and got to choose my seat.  My therapist advised trying to do everything as normal (pre-panic attacks normal).  And, if I'm being honest, I thought the window seat might actually be good to MAKE me stay in my seat if I did decide to freak out.  It would be harder for me to run screaming down the aisles if I had to get past 2 other people to do so. But, in the end, I chose the aisle and can't believe I never have before!

You've met me and my tiny bladder, right?! What have I been thinking all this time in the window seat where I cause myself more anxiety stressing over how many times I will have to go to the bathroom and either disrupt people or become a contortionist to climb over them without waking them.  Sitting in the aisle was like heaven. I could get up as many times as I wanted--for this 4 hour flight, that was 6 times...yup, 6! I know, I'm awesome company on road trips.

Of course, just because I made it through the air portion of the flight, didn't mean panic couldn't still mess with me.  Upon landing, it was raining and we had to sit another 30 minutes on the runway waiting for a gate.  I was bursting to get out of my seat....but only from my tiny bladder this time, not panic! I eventually had to press the attendant button and ask permission to go tot he bathroom
'cuz I couldn't stand it any longer (Joe can vouch for this)  :)

When I told the story to my sis (about the entire flight, not just the excessive bathroom usage part), she asked me if I thought it was better to have been alone and I told her that I had wondered the same thing.  Although I know every situation is different and sometimes it helps to have someone with me, I think in this case, it was a battle I needed to face on my own.  I wonder if someone being there would have given me permission to crumble.  Since I was alone, I had to do it solo (or sola since I speak Spanish and use correct grammar)  : )

So, I'm happy I made it okay, happy I'm in Colorado, and just plane happy (pun intended, I do know the correct spelling there)!  : )  : )

PS--I forgot to mention that I actually asked the flight attendant mid-flight if they were trained in dealing with people having panic attacks, "hypothetically speaking" of course : )

Flight Plan

So, as hard as it is to believe since I'm an official World Traveler (really, I have a certificate to prove it), but.....I'm terrified to fly now! I know, it IS crazy, and ANNOYS me too, but it is what it is and I have to deal with it and make the best of it.  It has nothing to do with fear of the plane crashing, although obviously that would suck; rather, it's the fear of being trapped--both on a claustrophobic level but more so thinking about the possibility of having a panic attack while trapped in the middle of the air... for several hours.

And, I'm not gonna lie, but I have visions of myself freaking out on the plane, the plane having to emergency land, and me being escorted off (possibly in handcuffs), complete with headlines of "Girl freaks out on plane and arrested for going crazy in the air!" Hey, it could happen.

I have a flight coming up Wednesday morning and I've been trying to do everything I can to prepare for it.  As much as I wish I could, I can't prevent a panic attack, so I've been having to prepare myself for the fact that I probably will have one, and I have to learn how to DEAL with it, when trapped in an airplane.

Now, I know I could just take some drugs and be happy and avoid the panic.  I probably should.  But, apparently I have masochist tendencies and like to torture myself...no pain, no gain, right?! I know lots of people choose to take medication and I don't judge them.  But everyone is different, and for me (at least right now), I'd prefer to do it without medication if possible.  That said, I DO have medication in my purse, just in case, but I'm really hoping I don't need it.

So, in an effort to take other measures, I've made a "Flight Plan" with some of the main concepts that I've learned in therapy so far.  I have it written on a piece of paper so that I can reference it on the plane. Here's my list:

• Tell yourself, "Okay, this is uncomfortable and sucks, but it's not dangerous."
• Try to distance yourself from the thoughts, "I notice my heart is beating fast, I can feel my breathing becoming difficult, etc."
• Mess with the anxiety and tease it to make it less intimidating--i.e. sing the scary thoughts to the Happy Birthday song
• Know that even though you might freak out, statistically it's not likely
• ***I  VALUE FREEDOM and TRAVEL so the benefits out way the fear! It matters more to me  to deal with the discomfort than to avoid it by not traveling.  I'm willing to endure it!
• ***I'm really GOOD at dealing with physical discomfort.  Years of sports training (soccer, marathons, triathlons) was way harder on my body than a panic attack
• I've survived an attack before and I will again
• Like after a race, my heart and breathing will return to normal; it just takes a few minutes
• Even though you feel like you are out of control; you ARE in control! (test it--tighten your toes, touch the seat, cough, etc.)
• List 5 things you experience with each of the 5 senses
• Tighten and relax each body part from toes up to head
• Breath OUT; remember there's a vomit bag to breath into if need be.  Hold in stomach to prevent hyperventilation
• "Mental Outs" (safety nets to keep in mind to help ease the anxiety, no matter how unrealistic)     1. If you really need to get off the plane, it is always within 20 minutes of an airport to land (in the US)   2. If you really can't take it any longer, ask someone to knock you out :) 
• And, if all else fails...You DO have medicine in your purse!

My Therapist Ain't Got Her S*** Together!

My Therapist gave me an article a few sessions ago about ACT: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and I read the thing and ended up actually kind of excited about having anxiety. Weird, I know! Before you judge, (too late?) let me share some of the key concepts that I loved about this approach and the article---my favorite one being that I'm NOT crazy! (at least not in terms of anxiety, other areas of my life are still up for questioning...)

**ACT does not attempt to reduce symptoms, but gets symptom reduction as a byproduct.

The main point of ACT is NOT to try to get rid of the symptoms of anxiety (because attempts at this actually cause more anxiety) but to accept the pain and learn how to handle it differently.  That's not really anything new if you've read other approaches.  Here's what does set it apart:

The Other Guys:
"Western psychology is founded on the assumption of "healthy normality": that by their nature, humans are psychologically healthy, and given a healthy environment, lifestyle, and social context...humans will naturally be happy and content. " The problem with this perspective is that any psychological suffering is then seen as abnormal--a disease, pathological and something to get rid of.  Basically, it says that if you are lonely, sad, depressed, anxious, etc. there's something wrong with you and you should fix it.  That you are somehow "weak" and should be able to take measures to correct it.  With thinking like this, it's no wonder there's such a stigma on mental health issues.

What ACT says is quite the opposite. It "assumes that the psychological processes of a normal human mind are often destructive, and create psychological suffering for us all, sooner or later."  In other words, it's NORMAL to NOT feel great ALL the time! You're not crazy! I mean, consider all the psychological suffering that aren't "clinical disorders" yet still cause lots of pain for people--loneliness, boredom, alienation, meaninglessness, low self-esteem, pain from bullying, sexism, domestic violence, divorce, etc.  Everyone suffers and the intent of therapy should not be to stop it but to change your viewpoint towards it.

By accepting this and using mindfulness techniques, you can reduce the impact and influence of the unwanted thoughts and feelings in your life.  Suffering is brought about from trying to avoid painful situations and control emotions.  This only makes things worse.  It's best to develop psychological flexibility thought the 6 core principles of ACT: defusion, acceptance, contact with the present moment, the observing self, values, and committed action. (these are all explained in detail in the article and worth checking out)

Maybe the best part of the article was this little tidbit about how therapists are in the same boat as their clients.  It makes sense that if we disspell (apparently not a word that I can spell) the myth of "healthy normality" and agree that all humans suffer mentally, therapists should tell clients something like this:

"I don't want you to think I've got my life completely in order.  It's more as if you're climbing your mountain over there and I'm climbing my mountain over here.  It's not as if I've reached the top and I'm having a rest.  It's just that from where I am on my mountain, I can see obstacles on your mountain that you can't see.  So I can point those out to you, and maybe show you some alternative routes around them."

In other words, the therapist ain't got his s*** together any more or less than the rest of us, he's just better at spotting your s*** and helping you accept that we're all in this s*** together!

(*****For the record, I actually love my therapist and think she does a wonderful job*****)

Now, feel free to read the whole darn thing if you choose---it's fun, really! : )

Embracing Your Demons: An Overview of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy--Russell Harris

You can also find this article and other helpful resources here:

http://attackgirldani.blogspot.com/2012/09/helpful-resources-on-anxietypanic.html

Don't forget to check it periodically as I continually update it.

Undoing the stigma

My dad sent me an article today about famous people and their struggles with anxiety. While the article itself doesn't have much substance or any mind-blowing tips, I couldn't help but feel glad that stars are stepping out and speaking up about the disorder. I admire their courage and find it encouraging towards helping to undo the stigma still associated with anxiety and other mental disorders.

I was also touched by the fact that my dad was taking an interest in learning more about it and wasn't afraid to bring it up with me. I often find that people tip toe around discussing mental disorders and are uncomfortable talking about them. How can anyone get better without open communication in the healing process? Here's to hoping more people find the courage to do the same and keep things headed in a positive direction!

Here's the article--thanks, Pops!

LeAnn Rimes and Other Stars Open Up About Anxiety Struggle
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/leann-rimes-emma-stone-paula-deen-donny-osmond/story?id=17127561

Homemade gluten-free tortilla chips

These have got to be the simplest thing I've ever made. And this is coming from someone who burns oatmeal. Literally.

I finally found a way to make these edible!

You need:
* your favorite gluten-free tortillas
* olive oil (or substitute)
* salt
* spices (optional- I didn't use any)

Steps:

•Preheat oven to 400 degrees

•Cover both sides of tortillas with a light layer of oil. (I brushed it on but you could use a spray or fingers to dab it) coat with salt (lots if you are me).

•Cut into chip-sized pieces. I just tore mine.

•Bake on a cookie sheet for about 5 minutes.

•Eat and enjoy!

Tortillas coated in oil and salt

Delicious finished product! (minus a few dozen that I already ate)

Helpful Resources on Anxiety/Panic Attacks

Last UPDATED- 9/6/12

I find that sometimes just educating myself about an issue makes me feel 10,000 times better.  I thought I'd share some of the resources that I have come across in my research about Anxiety/Panic Attacks.  Thanks to all my family/friends who recommended many of these! Please feel free to share any others you have found helpful!

Websites:

• David Carbonell's site Useful techniques, articles, videos, etc. for overcoming anxiety, including fear of flying. Recommended by my therapist.
• ASDI wesbite Ditto
• NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Health NAMI advocates for access to services, treatment, support, research, raising awareness, and building a community of hope for all of those in need.
• The Linden Method This one you have to purchase, and I've not used it. A friend recommended it. (thanks!) Also includes mp3 downloads for specific scenarios i.e. driving, etc.
• Panic Away Also not used this entirely but recommended by a friend. (thanks!)
• Natural remedies to help reduce anxiety 
• Vitamin deficiencies and anxiety    
• Natural Remedies for all ailments                                                                          

Books:

Specific to Anxiety/Panic Attacks:

• ******Triumph Over Fear by Jerilyn Ross******* HIGHLY RECOMMEND! I have read this entire book and can't say enough good things about it! This is the book from which I pulled the excerpt of A Letter to My Friend. Great starting point as a first book to understanding anxiety and panic attacks, for both sufferers, family, and friends. Also has great list of resources in the back.
• The Feeling Good Handbook by David D. Burns Recommended by a therapist and great reviews on amazon. I've read sections and liked those. Chapter 12 is specific to Panic Attacks
• When Panic Attacks by David D. Burns Book/workbook recommended by therapist and great amazon reviews.
• The Anxiety and Worry Workbook by David A. Clark & Aaron T. Beck I  bought this after reading the amazon reviews.  Haven't used it yet but looks good from browsing. Workbook with daily techniques. 
• An End to Panic:Breakthrough Techniques for Overcoming Panic Disorder by Elke Zuercher-White I haven't read this yet, but it's a workbook recommended by a friend (thanks!)

Not Specific to Anxiety but still Helpful:

• How to Deal with Annoying People by Bob Phillips and Kimberly Alyn Not specifically related to anxiety, but still a good read for communicating better with people who can cause lots of anxiety : ) (thanks, Dave!)
• Your Best Life by Joel Osteen Daily readings with life lessons. Not specific to anxiety but good for calming the heart and mind. (thanks, friend!)
• Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow Specifically aimed towards women and worry. Recommended by a friend (thanks!)
• The Complete Guide to Natural Healing  (thanks, Mom!)
• The Bach Flower Remedies
• Aroma Remedies (thanks, Jen!)

Articles:

Embracing Your Demons: an Overview of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Given to me by my therapist, short read--I LOVED it! I'll be posting separately about this soon.